Antwon and Nate’s journey as foster dads began in 2017, a decision that would profoundly shape their lives. Over the years, they have welcomed three different children into their home, each placement unique in its challenges and rewards. The first child was with them for three years, the second for 18 months, and their third, Ali, for two years until they finally adopted her. Through it all, Antwon and Nate learned lessons about patience, unconditional love, and what it means to truly support each other. “Fostering taught us patience. About unconditional love and our family’s capacity for both joy and sadness,” Antwon reflects. “We’ve learned what supporting your partner really looks like and who our true friends are.”
The journey into foster care is not an easy one, and Antwon is quick to acknowledge that fostering is not for everyone. “Being a foster parent is not for the faint of heart. It can be a thankless job, with some of your best days mixed with some of your hardest. But we wouldn’t change anything about our family’s story.”
For Antwon and Nate, those hardest days often revolved around the fear of saying goodbye to a child they had grown to love. “Everyone says, ‘I could never do that, I wouldn’t want to give them up.’ And that’s true, you often don’t. But that just means you were the perfect person to be that child’s foster parent. That’s love, and every kid deserves it.”
The emotional highs and lows of being foster dads were felt in every placement. Fostering a child means stepping into a situation where trust needs to be built with children who have experienced trauma, loss, or instability. “Each child comes with their own story, often filled with trauma and pain, and they bring those scars into your home,” Antwon shares. “Through tearful, tired eyes, you start to build trust with a child who’s used to adults letting them down. Then BOOM! You break through to become a safe space. A favorite person. The name they cry when they wake up afraid.”
But there’s also a constant tension that lingers in the background—the possibility that their time with the child might be temporary. “You know from the beginning that they aren’t yours. They never were. And after 1… 2… or in our case 3 years, just when you start to feel like they’re part of the family, you get a phone call, an email, or a text message that stops your heart mid-beat. And then you say goodbye.”
Still, even with the painful farewells, the joy of fostering shines through in the moments of connection, growth, and love. Antwon recalls one of the most heartwarming memories from his time as a foster dad: “When they say ‘I love you, Daddy,’ with spaghetti on their face, or when their first steps are to get closer to you with a toothless grin and open arms… You forget that you aren’t their Dad, even just for a little.” These moments are what Antwon and Nate hold on to as they reflect on their foster journey—the joy of seeing a child feel safe, secure, and loved, even if just for a season.
When it came time to adopt their daughter, Ali, the relief and joy were palpable. “Ali’s adoption was the best day. It was the first day we didn’t have to worry about her anymore. About her life or her future. She was ours, and we were hers, and we could finally exhale. For the first time since the day we met her.”
The adoption marked a significant turning point for their family, as they no longer had to worry about the uncertainty that had defined so much of their foster experience. To celebrate, they took Ali to her favorite restaurant, The Old Spaghetti Factory, for a carb-filled feast that perfectly captured their relief and happiness.
For Antwon and Nate, fostering has been a journey filled with both joy and heartache. But despite the challenges, they remain advocates for foster care. “If you can parent, you can foster parent. You know how to sacrifice for your kids. Sometimes that sacrifice is loving them so hard that you’re sad when you have to say goodbye,” Antwon says. “It’s the most rewarding thing we’ve ever done. Our foster kids taught us how to be dads. They gave us as much as we’ve given them.”
Antwon encourages others to consider fostering, despite the emotional toll it can take. “Fostering children was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he admits. “But truly anyone could do it. Just be prepared to get in your feelings randomly at midnight on a Tuesday night. And to miss your kids.”
For Antwon and Nate, fostering wasn’t just about providing a safe home for children; it was about forming deep bonds, learning what it means to love unconditionally, and discovering their own strength as parents.
If you’re ready to become a dad, visit GWK Academy to learn more about the different paths to fatherhood, including fostering.
