Originally published on gwkacademy.com, our website dedicated to helping gay and queer dads-to-be achieve their dream of fatherhood.
Randall and Caldwell Buntin, residents of Norfolk, Virginia, became dads last year when they welcomed their son into the world in August. Randall works as the Head of Merchandise Financial Planning at Family Dollar, Inc., while Caldwell is completing his PhD in Oceanography at Old Dominion University. The couple has called Norfolk home for the past six years.
Their love story began in July 2011 when they locked eyes across a room during separate outings with friends. “Randall told his friends he wasn’t leaving until he knew ‘that guy,’ and was very fortunate that Caldwell felt the same way,” they shared. Their first date—a Warrior Dash during a tropical storm—ended with them covered in mud, seeking shelter under a fire truck. “We have never been apart since that date,” they said.
Married on June 8, 2019, at the historic Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach, theirs was the first gay wedding held at the restored venue, a celebration shared with 120 friends and family members.
Initially, the idea of having children wasn’t on their radar during the first decade of their relationship. However, watching their sisters grow their families and witnessing the joy of cousins growing up together inspired them to explore the possibility of expanding their own family. “We wanted to expand our family tree and try to both have children that would be brothers,” they explained. For them, surrogacy felt like the best option.
Their surrogacy journey began in 2019, and like many parents-to-be, they encountered significant challenges along the way. From the outset, the process was overwhelming, with countless decisions to make and an immense amount of research to do. Navigating the early days of their journey during the COVID-19 pandemic only added layers of complexity. Medical concerns, egg donor shortages, and surrogate availability delays tested their patience and determination.
The couple faced setbacks, including an egg donor who withdrew the day before her retrieval and surrogates who were disqualified due to unforeseen medical issues. “There was a time we were starting to worry if it would ever happen for us,” Randall admits. The well-meaning advice from others to “stay patient” often felt frustrating. Yet, through it all, they leaned on each other. “We stayed informed, supported each other, and checked in constantly to make sure we were both in the mindset to keep going,” they said.
One pivotal decision that shifted their journey was choosing to work with two separate surrogacy agencies. This approach ultimately brought them success faster than they anticipated. They had also spent more than they intended, so finding a surrogacy agency with a financial plan that made sense was crucial. After extensive research, they recalled hearing glowing recommendations for Simple Surrogacy. “Immediately our experience was different,” Randall explains. “The owner reached out to us, and we were put in contact with several key players who walked us through their plans for success.” The seamless collaboration between their IVF clinic and Simple Surrogacy further eased the process. “Simple proved to be the right people, not just the right company. They stepped in when our other journey hit a snag and helped us move forward successfully.” Remarkably, with Simple’s support, they welcomed their son in less than a year—before even completing a transfer with their first agency.
On August 16, 2024, their lives changed forever as they became parents to Nolan Carter, a joyful milestone shared with their surrogate and her family whom they had become very close with during their shared journey. “That first moment when they handed us our son was the best feeling in the world,” Caldwell shares.
Now four months into fatherhood, Randall and Caldwell reflect on how their long journey gave them invaluable time to prepare for their new roles as parents. They’ve embraced a dynamic parenting routine, with Caldwell taking the late-night feedings and Randall handling the early mornings. This unique rhythm has fostered special bonds between Nolan and each of his dads. “He looks forward to waking up with Randall and settles down at night with Caldwell,” they said.
To other LGBTQ+ parents-to-be, Randall and Caldwell offer advice grounded in their experience. “Do your research and make sure you like who you’re working with. It’s a long journey, and you’ll spend a lot of time with real people, so ensure you’re comfortable with them,” they said. They also encourage grace when responding to curious questions from others. “Most people don’t understand how it works, so receive questions with good intent,” they suggest, noting that misconceptions about surrogacy are common.
Their surrogacy journey, though challenging, has been transformative. “Our son and the relationships we’ve made have been the single best thing we could have done for our family. We are a better couple as a result of this journey,” they shared. As they cherish their new roles as dads, Randall and Caldwell encourage others to embrace the ups and downs of the journey, knowing that the reward is immeasurable.
If you’re interested in becoming a parent through surrogacy, join GWK Academy for free resources, trusted information specifically for our LGBTQ+ community, and complimentary coaching calls.
