“As with any parent, maybe more as a gay father, there is a feeling of imposter syndrome. Am I really cut out to be a parent? Will I be enough? Will my child be accepted in society?”
In 2022, DC couple Matt and Clay became dads through adoption. Together for more than 8 years, the two had talked about their desire to become dads on one of their first dates.
“We originally started looking at agencies and talking to other gay dads, but then COVID hit and we had to put everything on hold.”
It wasn’t until late-2021 that they started back up again. “We got everything submitted, did the home studies, and went live in May 2022.”
And only 5 weeks later, the couple were matched!
The dads-to-be soon developed a relationship with the birth mother; they even had a chance to hear the heartbeat and learn the baby’s gender through FaceTime.
“Things seemed to be moving in suspended animation, but, before we knew it, we were in the birthing room watching our daughter be born and holding her.”
The new dads even had a chance to cut the cord and have immediate skin-to-skin contact with their daughter. They were later cleared to head home in two days.
“Watching your child grow right in front of your eyes has to be the best part of being a dad. Babies are truly remarkable, and as exciting as it is to see them growing daily, you also want them to stop. So, soak up every single second!”
For Matt and Clay, the more difficult part of fatherhood circles back to those existential worries — trying to prepare their daughter for the world today and conquering that feeling of imposter syndrome. “The late nights, fussiness, bottles, and diapers became second nature quickly.”
“Be patient with yourself. There are many ups and downs, stressful situations, and rewarding outcomes. Ask questions, be genuine, and don’t doubt yourself.”
“You can do this!!”
Follow the dads here: @matthewjohn13 and @jacksonjc06
