For Sougata and Mayank, the journey to fatherhood was as much about breaking barriers as it was about fulfilling their dream of raising children together. The couple, who live in Bangalore, India, first met 13 years ago on a dating website for gay men. A chance meeting quickly turned into a lifelong commitment. “From our very first meeting, we started living together,” Sougata recalls. “Today, we’re out, proud, accepted by our families, socially married, and fathers to two lovely babies and two furry babies.”
While their love story is one of joy and partnership, it has unfolded in a country where LGBTQ+ rights remain in flux. In 2018, India decriminalized homosexuality, overturning Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, a colonial-era law that criminalized same-sex relationships. Yet, same-sex marriage remains unrecognized, and many legal protections for LGBTQ+ families are absent. Sougata and Mayank realize they are fortunate to have acceptance from their parents and friends as they know not everyone in their community is as lucky.
The couple’s commitment to one another was solidified in 2022 when they held a wedding ceremony, even though it lacks legal recognition in India. Their parents’ acceptance was pivotal in making their dreams of fatherhood a reality. “We both always wanted to be fathers,” Sougata explains. “Once we came out to our families and were accepted, we told them about our desire to start a family. They not only supported us but encouraged us to pursue our dreams.”
Sougata and Mayank decided to build their family through surrogacy. The couple successfully navigated the process and welcomed their son and daughter into the world in 2021. “The day they arrived, it was like our world expanded in ways we couldn’t even imagine,” Mayank says. “It was the most beautiful decision we’ve ever made.”
The couple acknowledges that their journey has not been without its struggles. “We occasionally face questions like, ‘Where is the mother?’” Sougata says. “But broadly we have been fairly well received as a family so far. Also, the vibe that we give out as a family is that of happiness, confidence and pride and we believe that also plays a big role!”
Parenthood has brought its own set of challenges and joys. “The hardest part is saying no to certain demands of our little ones,” Mayank admits. “It breaks our hearts, but we also understand we need to occasionally say no to certain things too.” On the other hand, the best moments are the simplest ones. “Listening to their imaginative stories and playing along as they do that is so beautiful,” Sougata says.
For LGBTQ+ individuals in India considering parenthood, Sougata and Mayank offer this advice: “Parenthood is life-changing, but it’s also the most rewarding journey. If it’s something you truly want, don’t let societal or legal barriers stop you. Be emotionally and financially prepared, and most importantly, be proud of your decision and your family.”
Despite India’s slow progress on LGBTQ+ rights, Sougata and Mayank are determined to live their truth unapologetically. “Our family is unconventional, but we are proud of our family,” Sougata says. “And we face any challenges with love and pride!”
Today, the couple is embracing the joys and challenges of fatherhood, proving that love and determination can overcome even the most significant obstacles. They hope their story inspires others to follow their hearts, no matter the odds.
Follow the dads here: @the_daddy_lyfe
