Over on our Instagram page, we love highlighting gay and queer dad stories. Here are some beautiful families sharing their news of welcoming littles ones and navigating fatherhood from the last couple of weeks.
Jamie and Edward
Jamie and Edward grew their family in February of this year when their daughter joined her big brother through surrogacy.
“We started our second journey soon after our son was born. We already had embryos frozen from our first time around in 2019.”
The dads express gratitude for a smooth process. “We’re grateful to not have encountered any hurdles or challenges during either of our two journeys. Both our children arrived a week ahead of anticipated inductions, so those were pleasant surprises. We made it in time for both births!”
The dads partnered with San Diego Fertility Center and Pink and Blue Surrogacy to make their dreams come true.
Jaime and Edward’s son has adjusted to his new role as big brother very well. “It’s been sweet seeing him be so gentle and loving with his baby sister. He even learned her name before she arrived!”
Their advice to others considering a second journey? “Spend as much time as possible preparing the first child in advance. There are lots of great books out there to help normalize the introduction of a second child. And don’t beat yourself up if you’re not as focused on the second pregnancy as you were the first, having your first child to care for demands your attention while awaiting your second child. This is normal and there will be more than enough love to go around once your second child arrives.”
Greg and Lorenzo
Greg and Lorenzo are two dads from Kentucky.
“We have been on the parenting journey for about four years now. We decided to go the surrogacy route so that we could grow our family biologically.”
As Black gay men, finding an agency that was supportive was of the utmost importance to the pair. “Diversity was one of our major concerns when looking for an agency because most surrogacy agencies lack the support, engagement, and representation of the Black gay community.”
After losing their first child six weeks into pregnancy, the couple persisted. “After a short period of grieving and rest, we tried again and we were blessed with two beautiful boys.”
“The first few weeks were super crazy, exhausting, and fun!!! We’ve never been so happy to be tortured. Watching them grow, bonding with them, learning to parent with love, light and understanding has been the joy of our lives.”
The dads, quickly becoming parenting pros, are aiming to engage in further advocacy work. “We look forward to advocating for other Black gay men and women to have more accessibility to parenting options, funding, and support in expanding their families in the future!”
Parenting, however, is not without its struggles, as the couple is beginning to see. “Take time to develop your self, your relationships, and your finances before becoming a parent so you can truly sit back and enjoy your children! It’s hard, but worth it.”
“Parenting is rough, and not for the faint of heart, but we wouldn’t change a thing.”
👉 @jamessemusic @lorenzoalexander
Aaron and Bodie
“Although our daughter is 100% a threenager right now, she’s our favorite thing in the world. I can’t think of anything I want more than to just be her dad.”
Aaron and Bodie are two Texas dudes who became dads through surrogacy.
“I was always on the fence about having children,” shared Aaron. “I never even thought it was possible while I was growing up. My husband, on the other hand, always knew that he wanted to become a father. So, shortly after meeting, he told me that I was the one he wanted to raise a child with.”
The dads were nervous about losing their freedom and all of the scary things that come with raising a child in the modern world. “All of those worries faded into the background the first time I heard that little heartbeat, and I knew that I would do anything in the world for that kid.”
Advice for other dads? “Do your research! There are so many paths to fatherhood, and so many paths within those paths. We knew we wanted to do surrogacy, but we didn’t realize there were so many further ways to ‘customize’ our journey. There is no one right path for everyone, so just knowing what your options are can make the first steps less daunting.”
“The best parts of being a dad are the small, almost insignificant seeming things. Seeing her face light up when she sees something she loves, watching her try a new toy, and those random little pauses in whatever she’s doing, followed immediately by an ‘I love you, daddy.'”
Matt and Clay
“As with any parent, maybe more as a gay father, there is a feeling of imposter syndrome. Am I really cut out to be a parent? Will I be enough? Will my child be accepted in society?”
In 2022, DC couple Matt and Clay became dads through adoption.
“We’ve been together for more than 8 years and talked about wanting to become fathers on one of our first dates.”
“We originally started looking at agencies and talking to other gay dads, but then COVID hit and we had to put everything on hold.”
It wasn’t until late-2021 that they started back up again. “We got everything submitted, did the home studies, and went live in May 2022.”
“We were then matched… 5 WEEKS LATER!”
The dads-to-be soon developed a relationship with the birth mother; they even had a chance to hear the heartbeat and learn the baby’s gender through FaceTime.
“Things seemed to be moving in suspended animation, but, before we knew it, we were in the birthing room watching our daughter be born and holding her.”
The new dads even had a chance to cut the cord and have immediate skin-to-skin contact with their daughter. They were later cleared to head home in two days.
“Watching your child grow right in front of your eyes has to be the best part of being a dad. Babies are truly remarkable, and as exciting as it is to see them growing daily, you also want them to stop. So, soak up every single second!”
For Matt and Clay, the more difficult part of fatherhood circles back to those existential worries — trying to prepare their daughter for the world today and conquering that feeling of imposter syndrome. “The late nights, fussiness, bottles, and diapers became second nature quickly.”
“Be patient with yourself. There are many ups and downs, stressful situations, and rewarding outcomes. Ask questions, be genuine, and don’t doubt yourself.”
“You can do this!!”
👉 @matthewjohn13 @jacksonjc06
Ned and James
DC dads Ned and James first became parents through adoption in 2019. This year their family grew again, welcoming a younger son in March. 👨👨👦👦🌈
Although the forever family started their second adoption journey in 2021, it was nearly 2 years until they matched. ⌛️
“This adoption journey took longer than the first, so we seriously questioned whether it would actually happen,” said Ned. Then it all of sudden they got the call. 📱
“I was traveling for work when we got the call, and had to hop on an airplane to Georgia where our son was born.” ✈️
The dads worked with @friendsinadoption for both journeys. ❤️
Ned and James have some advice for others considering adoption: “Don’t give up, it will happen. Even if it takes longer than you thought. Everything comes together when it’s supposed to.” 💯
👉 @airbus777 + @faijaijim