I saw you a few weeks ago at the mall and I waved, and you gave me a really big wave and smile back. I thought that was great, always making time for your fans. Listen, I know you get pretty busy this time of year, so I don’t want to take too much of your time. I want to let you know that my husband Dominic and I have been really good this year, and we think we’ve earned a place on your Nice List. I know a lot of people only reach out to you during the holidays, or when they need something. And like that other bearded guy who gets a lot of attention this time of year, I hope you know I’m a fan year-round.
I’m sure you know about our Christmas In July party, where we have our friends and family over for Christmas movies, a Secret Santa gift swap, and a fully decorated house, complete with inflatable lawn ornaments, a blasting air conditioner, and a Yule log DVD. Why should the most wonderful time of the year only happen in December, right Santa? Like they sing on Sesame Street, it’s important to “Keep Christmas with you all through the year.”
This year, we’ve helped our neighbors, Paul and Donna, whenever they needed an extra set of hands or pair of eyes on their baby, Rocco. We’ve grown to learn more about being dads than we ever thought we could. That was quite the sneaky play there Santa, giving us next-door neighbors who have a baby born on the day we move in, to help us learn about raising a baby. Even though we saw your magic all over that one, we still appreciated it so much.
I’ve been busy at work, creating experiences for kids to come and see that big Christmas show in the city. It’s great to know that we’re showing kids not just a spectacular show, but also showing them the world outside of their small towns. Dom’s also been really busy, preparing his students for newer and tougher state tests, wrapping up the Fall play and prepping for the Spring musical at school, and training for and completing our Half Marathon together.
So it’s been a bit of a hectic time for us, Santa. But I want to take a moment to give you our Christmas list. It’s not big this year, really. I’ve decided to stop asking for a sequel to “Jingle All The Way,” because as serious as I was about that, you gave me a sequel starring Larry the Cable Guy. I think you and I know that maybe you’ve got a bit of apologizing to do. Give me a train with square wheels or a Charlie-in-the-box anyday, instead of the guy from the heartburn commercials ruining my Christmas.
Dom and I need your help this year, Santa. When Britney Spears sings “I want my baby baby” in her song, “My Only Wish This Year,” we get it. We also want a baby baby this year. Or maybe just one baby; we’re not really clear on how these things work. Now, we recognize that it would be irresponsible for you to leave a baby in a stocking for us, or to drop one off under the tree. Our cat Stoli would think the baby was a gift for him, and we’d never get any time with him or her. Instead, we want to make it very easy for you to help out, and to help us get the most amazing gift you’ll ever be able to give someone, and that’s the gift of parenthood.
As hard as it is to ask for help, there’s no amount of pride worth more than our desire and need to be parents. When you’re up on those rooftops this year, do you think you’d be able to tuck a tiny slip of paper into those stockings? It’ll just have this link written on it: https://www.gofundme.com/ababyfordomandant
It’s a small link, Santa, but it’s got the potential to change our lives forever. It gives people an opportunity to get on the Nice List for quite a long time. And it’s got the power to give a tiny baby the opportunity to join two dads who are going to give him or her the very best life they possibly can.
I’m not going to make you any promises Santa, about how we’ll be better next year if we just get this one thing, just this once, and how we’ll never ask for anything ever again for as long as we live. We really try, all year long, to be the best people we can be, and to work every day to be even better. And we know you see that. We just hope you’ll help other people see it too.
I promised we’d keep this short Santa, I know you’ve got lots of boys and girls to see through the holiday season, and the last thing we want to do is monopolize your time; selfish boys end up on the Naughty List. Yet somehow, Larry the Cable Guy gets to keep making movies … but I digress.
All right Santa. That’s all I’ve got. It’s Christmastime in the city, and we’re going to wait with fingers crossed to see what Christmas magic you can pull out of that sack this year. It’s got the potential to be the most wonderful time, not just of the year, but of our entire lives.
Stay jolly, Sir. The world can always use a little more magic in it, especially during the holidays.
Yours Most Truly,