If you’re a single gay man considering fatherhood, you might be wondering what your options are and how to make it happen. While the path to parenthood isn’t always easy for our LGBTQ+ community, it’s definitely possible. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the ways single gay men can become dads, regardless of their relationship status. So read on brave fathers-to-be: with enough dedication and knowledge of what lies ahead, becoming a dad is within reach.
Exploring the Different Paths to Parenthood for Single Gay Men
Adoption or surrogacy and IVF are the two main avenues available to single gay men pursuing fatherhood. Through adoption there are three paths: domestic infant adoption, international adoption, or adopting through the foster care system. Most of these paths can be very expensive, ranging from $30,000 to $220,000+, with the exception of adoption through foster care which has little to no out of pocket expense.
Deciding which path is the best option is very personal and will be one of the first big decisions any single gay man will have to consider. For those going it alone, finding your support group at the time of this decision can be very important. We at GWK Academy recommend looking at the pros and cons of each path, and thinking about what you desire most from fatherhood. Is it a biological connection? Do you want to parent an older child? Is adoption already part of your family history?
Single Gay Men and Surrogacy – Exploring Options and Cost Considerations
Gay surrogacy is the process of enlisting the help of a surrogate who carries the baby for the intended dad. Most IVF clinics in the United States only do third-party gestational surrogacy journeys which means the embryo implanted in the surrogate (also known as a gestational carrier) was created with a different person’s egg and fertilized with the intended dad’s sperm. This means the surrogate has no biological connection to the child they are carrying.
A gay surrogacy journey can cost more than other paths to fatherhood due to special prenatal needs, legal requirements, and compensation to the surrogate and egg donor, costing anywhere from $140,000-$225,000+. For single men, there will be some savings as there will only be on sperm source to test and use for embryo creation.
GWK Academy is a one-of-a-kind app that offers detailed information and guidance to educate dads-to-be on the options and cost considerations that gay men face with surrogacy. GWK Academy also connects their enrollees with gay dad mentors, as well as vetted family-building partners representing the best-of-the-best in surrogacy and IVF service providers, including Simple Surrogacy, Circle Surrogacy, Family Source Consultants, Illume Fertility, Main Line Fertility, Fertility Specialists of Texas, and the Fertility Law Group of Warshaw Burstein among others.
Single Gay Men and Adoption – Exploring Options and Cost Considerations
As mentioned above, there are a few different adoption paths available to single gay men: domestic infant, international, or foster-adopt.
The cost of domestic and international adoption averages around $45,000+. Domestically, for every infant that is available for adoption there are 36 waiting families, sometimes more. It can take 2-3 years for a successful match, and a single gay man might have to wait longer to be matched with a pregnant person.
Gay and single parent adoption is legal in every state in America but that doesn’t mean that you will have success adopting if you work with the wrong agency or organization. Folks still discriminate against gay and queer people, and dads-to-be can linger in the system if their family-building partners have no real intention of helping them become dads. Choosing a LGBTQ+ affirming and experienced agency or lawyer is crucial for a successful journey.
International (or intercountry) adoption can also take 2-3 years with 8-12 weeks spent in the home country of the child that is being adopted. There are two countries that work with gay couples and singles: South Africa and Colombia.
Foster-adopt is another option for single gay men when creating their family, and it takes 3-4 months to become a licensed foster-adopt parent. A placement can occur very quickly after becoming licensed, however, the first placement might not be your forever child. It can take a few placements before you’re matched with a child free for adoption.
Enrolling in GWK Academy is an excellent option for single gay men considering a path to fatherhood through adoption. GWK Academy provides educational tools and support for single men pursuing adoption alone, from matching with gay dad mentors, to connections with an ever-growing list of adoption and foster agencies, including several that offer national programs and/or have long been supportive of LGBTQ+ family-building, like Adoptions Together, Amara, Choice Network, Extraordinary Families, Friends in Adoption, Spence-Chapin Adoption Services and You Gotta Believe.
Steps To Building A Family When You’re a Single Gay Man
The first step towards fatherhood as a single gay man is research, so if you’re here, you’ve come to the right place. Learning what you don’t know can be daunting, especially if you’re going forward alone. Just remember, you’re not alone.
The second step is forming your support group. If you haven’t already, start figuring out who is going to be with you during this amazing journey; to be a sounding board, to support you during the challenges, and celebrate the milestones.
GWK Academy offers coaching calls and emails to all their enrollees, and we’ve already helped a ton of single gay men like yourself! We can be your hype team, your experts, and your counsel. We can match you with gay dad mentors who have recently become dads through a similar path that you’re pursuing. Enroll today and GWK Academy will be a key player in your support team.