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“Here We Go!” An Adoption Journey Begins

Editor’s Note: Blake Adam and Matthew Coelho are chronicling their adoption journey for Gays With Kids. This is the first post in their series. 
Since we got married, we knew that we wanted to have kids. I have been an uncle since I was 12 years old, which has always influenced my desire to be a dad. Matt, my husband, has a paternal instinct that is so natural to him — which became clear to everyone around him when his brother had a son and Matt, too, became an uncle. Once we had committed to each other, we knew that our next commitment would be to grow our family.

Obviously, being two men, our options to have a baby are limited. I can’t tell you how many times over the past few years one of us has half-joked: “I wish I could just get pregnant!” But, alas, that is simply not in the cards for us. After considering our options — and how lucky are we to have options!  — we decided that adoption is the best path for us to start our family. The thought of bringing a child into our home who is in need of loving parents just seems like what we are meant to do.


Soon after our wedding, we set out to do whatever we could to prepare ourselves for this next chapter in our lives. While heterosexual couples often find themselves surprised with a pregnancy and have to figure it all out on a whim, we have the blessing, and curse, of having to make sure everything in our lives is ready for a baby beforehand. Will we be thankful for this later? I’m sure! But is it frustrating that many of our heterosexual couple friends only need a date night and a bottle of wine to have a baby, while we have a laundry list of tasks to complete? A little. But we don’t begrudge anyone. After all, a baby is worth doing anything for. And “anything” is what we will do.


First of all, did you know that in some states you have to be married for at least two years to adopt as a couple? (Timeline: set.)

Secondly, you need to make sure you are financially secure. We knew that financial responsibility would be a key factor in ensuring we would qualify for adoption, and so we both worked incredibly hard to pay off our debts, build up credit scores, and cross and dot those metaphorical T’s and I’s. (Ducks: in a row.)


We have both been promoted multiple times within our respective jobs and have found ourselves feeling more financially and professionally secure than ever before. In the last two years, we bought and sold a house and bought another — one we consider to be the perfect family home. Two stories, grass in the yard, on a cul-de-sac in a newly developed neighborhood. Just call me June Cleaver! 

Finally — after our two year holding period and feeling and making sure our finances were stable — we started to really dive into the adoption process.


In March of this year, we began meeting with multiple adoption agencies, consultants, and an incredibly helpful attorney to get insight into how to begin and what to expect. There are a lot of steps in the adoption process, the first of which is the home study.

Follow along with me and Matt as we continue on our adoption journey and bring you blog posts via Gays With Kids highlighting the ups, downs, and surprises along the way! You can also keep up with us on social media – @blakeandmatthew!

Watch Matt and Blake’s Instagram Live below from their @gays_with_kids takeover:


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