Richard and Carlos Seigler-Carter live in Brooklyn, New York with their son, Timothy. The couple met almost 14 years ago during a casting call for a photoshoot for Richard’s clothing line, and were married in September of 2015. We caught up with the new dads to see how life was treating them. And you can follow this family’s journey on Facebook and Instagram.
What obstacles did you face on your path to fatherhood?
Compared to most other adoption stories, our process went at lightning speed! In early September, we officially applied to our agency and received word that we were accepted in less than 24 hours. On Friday November 18th, Carlos and I hand-delivered our home study documents to the agency at 12pm and received a call at 4pm telling us that there was a baby boy who needed a home and the agency had chosen us. Fast forward to what seemed to be the longest two weeks of our lives, we were finally able to meet and welcome our son Timothy into our home.
How has your life changed since you became a father?
Since becoming parents we have had to be deliberate about balancing family time and being present to respond to the needs of our marriage. We firmly believe that we need to nurture our family as a whole, while continuing to “date” each other—finding time for date nights, brunches, etc. Before becoming dads we routinely explored brunch hotspots and we’ve continued that weekend tradition with Timothy. We’ve also been very deliberate about creating very strict boundaries at work. When we are home we are dedicated to focusing on Timothy, bonding and enjoying the very funny noises and new things he does seemingly every day.
What have you learned from your children since you became a dad?
We have learned the power of patience, the importance of creating boundaries at work so that we are able to spend quality time as a family.
Was there ever a moment that you or your husband experienced any serious doubts about your path to fatherhood or fatherhood itself. And if so, what were they? How did you overcome them?
We’ve always known we’ve wanted to be parents, but to be honest, we were nervous about how folks would receive two black (Jamaican) men raising a baby – an image that is not often as accessible as it should be! However, that challenge isn’t insurmountable in our view and we are confident that we will help to champion the beauty of the modern family.
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To help find your path to fatherhood through gay adoption, surrogacy or foster care check out the GWK Academy.