Meet dads Dustin and Alex, a Boston couple who met through Tinder. Fast forward a few years and these dudes are now dads to three through a foster-to-adopt journey.
“We explored multiple avenues to starting a family: surrogacy, private adoption, and adoption through the state. We attended an information session where the panel discussed adoption and adoption through fostering; the foster parents’ stories and experiences moved us deeply.”
That session changed the couples’ view on parenting; they could provide a home for an infant or toddler in need of a safe and healthy environment. Soon after, the pair decided on a foster-to-adopt path to parenthood.
“We completed the state’s requirements and licensing in about four months, and about two weeks later we welcomed our first foster child into our home.”
The dads acknowledge the highs and the lows. “Navigating parenthood to not just one, but three children simultaneously, has had its fair share of pain points, frustrations, and worries. We’ve realized these times are often where we learn and grow most as dads.”
“We love the small moments; the smiles at the end of the day when we pick them up from school; witnessing the learning milestones and growth as they become their unique selves; seeing the love they exhibit for our home, their grandparents and extended family, and our pets.”
While they have not experienced any doubts about their path to fatherhood, the couple has had conversations about the realities of having more than one child.
“Our oldest and youngest are biological siblings. After 8 months of being placed with us, we were informed that DCF was exploring a possible reunification with their biological mom. As foster parents, you know the goal is reunification until a judge determines otherwise. While this was all happening, DCF approached us about taking in a third child (our now-adopted middle son). We were in an interesting situation as a decision had not been made on if our oldest/youngest would be permanently reunified.”
The dads knew they had to be in total agreement.
“Ultimately, we chose to say yes to all three of our children, and fast forward 2+ years, we are a beautiful family of five, parents to three, and could not picture life any other way.”
They advise future dads to be open minded, to ask all the questions, and seek advice. “There are so many ways to start a family; and what you envision that to be may not be how your path to parenthood actually plays out. That’s a beautiful thing.”